Are you freaking kidding me?!

Why are four year olds into EVERYTHING? Geez! This afternoon alone, for example - Owen wanted barbecue sauce to dip his french fries in. He asked for a spoon and I told him no. Skip ahead ten minutes to me sorting the mail and hearing him say, "Oops, I spilled barbecue sauce on my shorts." He'd gotten a spoon and was out of his chair, reaching up to the bar to scrap sauce off his plate. A large spoonful had fallen on his brand new khaki shorts. I (not so calmly) told him this was why we didn't use spoons to eat sauce, wiped off the glob, and took his shorts off. I put them on the top of the washing machine and sprayed them down with stain remover.

Half an hour later, as he is watching a movie, I head outside to throw some recycling away. In the minute it took me to walk outside to do that, what happens? I walk back in to him in the bathroom, looking for a tube of toothpaste - which I had put on the top shelf a few nights ago after catching him sucking the stuff straight down. He said he need to brush his teeth, because he licked the barbecue sauce off his shorts and it tasted yucky. Hello, stain remover!